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David Pibworth | The Blog

ACTOR, WRITER, PRODUCER AND DIRECTOR

A Trip To London And A Visit To Harrods

Never, never, never again ...

 
 

POSTED BY DAVID PIBWORTH ON 13/12/2016 @ 8:00AM

Usually, when I go to London, it's for a voiceover, audition or a fairly swift meeting. I get the train to Euston and walk into Soho. If it's raining I get on the bus ...

This was my actual facial expression when I found out how much those shoes were.

This was my actual facial expression when I found out how much those shoes were.

copyright: kues / 123rf stock photo

I never use the London Underground and I never go into shops other than to get a coffee. Also, I never call the Underground the 'tube' or a shop a 'store'. That really is the slippery slope.

But on Saturday we went to London for the day to meet some Dutch friends who were staying there. We used the Underground then went shopping.

It started out great. The children wanted to go to Hamleys Toy Shop. I can handle that. I love Hamleys and can spend hours in there. Busy but friendly. I looked after the kids and the ladies went to Liberty. Then a bite to eat and a wander past Downing Street and we saw all the horses and Household Cavalry which was fun.

"However, we then went to Harrods and the rot set in."

I understand the nostalgia of that place. It looks wonderful from the outside. Many moons ago, a mate and I got rather pissed in a pub called the Chelsea Potter and went and had a shave there; you know, cut throat razor and all that, and I remember thinking it was all jolly fun. But that was then, and this is now.

It was ghastly. They sell everything you can get at other shops, but for at least 40% more. With their own brand, I think they just make up a number then move the decimal point around.

I picked up a shoe and on the bottom it said £2,950. Before I could say anything a customer service lady slid snootily up to me and said "they are crocodile skin", but the tone of her voice was more "go away you snotty peasant, this is not the place for paupers".

"I did ask her if there was a deal on if I bought the other one as well but not even a smile."

But in some ways she was right. Harrods isn't for me. The smell of their perfume department makes me feel physically ill, many of the staff are rude, and you can buy everything in the shop cheaper elsewhere.

Anyway, it was busy and in the end I had to say to everyone "I'm terribly sorry, but if we stay in this shop for any longer I'm going to have to lie down and scream or steal something in order to be arrested and put into a quiet cell for a few hours". Turns out everyone was thinking along similar lines, so we left. We went over the road to a little cafe I know, and all was well again.

Go to London by all means. Stroll around, it's fun. Even go and look at the outside of Harrods if you feel the need to see it, but never never never be tempted to walk into it.

"And when I say never, never, never, I really mean never, never, never, never, never."

But I'll leave it at that, otherwise, you'll be here all day. See you next week from the Isle if Wight. I bet I can get some cheaper crocodile skin shoes out there.

Until next time ...

DAVID PIBWORTH


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More about David Pibworth ...

David is the owner of David Pibworth Productions (DPP) which provide corporate entertainment and also actors for corporate training and development.

Having worked in the Light Entertainment field for many years and produced shows for Al Murray & Joe Pasquale amongst others, David is in a position to advise on well-known comedy and musical acts. DPP also represent Ray Galton and Alan Simpson's scripts which include Hancock's Half Hour and Steptoe and Son.

He is the director of MK Theatre of Comedy who are very well known locally for their stage adaptations of classic comedy scripts such as Fawlty Towers, The Vicar of Dibley, Allo Allo and many others.

He is a long-standing member of Equity and the Directors Guild of Great Britain and has acted in, and directed, many productions over the years, mainly in Light Entertainment, but with occasional forays into Shakespeare etc. Every Christmas he is contracted as an Ugly Sister in Cinderella, currently with 'That's Entertainment' who also use him as a director.

He teaches eccentric magic for The Pauline Quirke Academy and MKTOC also run a youth drama school in Olney from the DPP offices.

David maintains his busy lifestyle is a surefire way to avoid being on any committees. He is married to Julie, and they have one daughter, Esther and live in Clifton Reynes, surrounded by dogs, cats and horses. They live so close to the church that David has instructed his daughter - when he dies and not before - to fire him over the wall from a circus cannon.